


Copper for your thoughts

by SerenitySky



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Self-Doubt, Whitestone (Critical Role), spoilers up to ep32
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 11:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20290480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenitySky/pseuds/SerenitySky
Summary: The night before the siege on Castle Whitestone, Keyleth is plagued with thoughts of the past days' events, moral dilemmas, and her own perceived failures. Vax'ildan is not one to let his friends suffer and offers reassurance and kind words.Inspired by a prompt from tumblr: "A kiss for comfort"





	Copper for your thoughts

It was late, Keyleth knew, as she tossed and turned in her bedroll. She heard the occasional whisper and murmur of her companions but didn’t make out anything that was said, her mind too preoccupied with visions of the past days’ events. 

_The Sun Tree, dead and barren, trussed up corpses hanging from its branches._

_The roots of the Tree, burning and scorched from her attempt at healing it._

_The guards at the house of Count Tylieri, falling one by one to the attacks of her companions. A man turning to ash at Keyleth’s own hands. _

She bolted upright at the last image, her chest heaving with panicked breaths. She was unable to shake the memory of the guard’s eyes, full of fear and pleading, moments before she killed him.

“Can’t sleep?”

Keyleth, already on edge from her thoughts, whipped around at the quiet voice. The only light in the tunnel was coming from the Flametongue Dagger. The shadows shifted eerily as Vax’ildan sat on watch, continuously tossing and catching the blade.

Some of the tension eased from Keyleth’s body as she saw the other half-elf. She shook her head and Vax motioned for her to join him. Slowly and as quietly as she could, the druid rose and crept around her sleeping companions to sit next to him. She didn’t know what to say as she hugged her knees to her chest.

Vax gave the dagger a final toss before setting it to the side. “Copper for your thoughts?” he asked softly.

Keyleth opened her mouth to speak but instead hugged herself tighter and buried her face in her knees. 

_I’m being ridiculous, overthinking everything. He’ll think I’m overreacting, like they all did back in Emon. Bringing it up now will only underline my failures, my weaknesses…_

“Kiki.”

Vax’s voice and a gentle hand on her shoulder shook her from her spiraling thoughts. She raised her head and saw Vax’s brow furrowed, concern etched on his face. 

“Are you alright?”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. His frown deepened, “You know you can talk to me about anything?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I was just...thinking about the past few days, since arriving in Whitestone.” She opened her eyes again, meeting his. “About the things we’ve seen, that we’ve done,” she cast her gaze downward, “that I’ve done.”

Vax remained silent, waiting for her to continue. 

“We’re trying to help these people, right? Free them from their cruel rulers? Well, we thought restoring the land would help, by trying to heal the Sun Tree. Which,” she let out a self-deprecating laugh, “I failed _spectacularly_ at, _and_ I almost set the whole thing on fire.” She threw her hands up in exasperation, “And who knows if that didn’t make it worse?

“Then, we decided to take them down outright.”

Keyleth breathed a heavy sigh, letting her arms fall limply to her sides and her legs collapse. “I know I’ve said it before but...back at the count’s manor we were all pretty ruthless and I can’t help but worry. We’ve already seen what’s happening to Percy, but what if that’s not isolated? What if,” she swallowed thickly, “what if that could happen to any of us? What if it consumes us?”

Vax sighed. “I think...I think Percy’s affliction is something that began long before he joined us.” 

“But even without that, it doesn’t mean we should meet every opponent without mercy! We’re trying to save this city. What kind of people are we--_am I?_\--if we show the same brutality as our enemies?”

“Keyleth--”

“I don’t want to become a murderer!” Keyleth tried to keep her voice low but it was becoming difficult as her thoughts began to spiral once again. “I’m supposed to be some kind of leader, but I can’t lead if I keep screwing up, if I can’t control my power--!”

All of a sudden Keyleth found herself pulled into Vax’s chest, one arm holding her tight around her torso and his other hand cradling the back of her head gently but firmly.

“If there is one thing in this world that I know,” Keyleth could feel the rumble of his words in his chest as he spoke lowly, “it is that you could never, _never_, act with any sort of evil in your heart. You are one of the gentlest and purest souls I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I will never regret calling you my friend.”

Vax pulled away just enough to rest their foreheads together. Keyleth gazed up at him, tears shining in her eyes.

“You have not failed us, _you have not_,” he repeated more strongly as she opened her mouth to protest. “We take from our experiences and we learn and grow. And if one of us starts to fall,” he glanced briefly at the sleeping form of Percy, “we will pull them back up.”

Keyleth closed her eyes and nodded, sniffling as a few tears fell. The next thing she felt was Vax’s lips against her forehead. They were warm, soft, and brought with them a comfort Keyleth didn’t know she needed. She returned his embrace and clung tightly to him, tucking her head under his chin and burying her face in his chest. 

The rogue continued to hold her as she silently wept, rubbing her back soothingly. Keyleth allowed herself to relax under his touch, feeling the stress and worry slowly slip away. 

After several long minutes, she took a deep breath to center herself and pulled away. Vax’s expression still held concern, but she met his gaze with a slight smile. “Thank you, Vax.”

He returned her smile. “I will always be here for you, should you need me.” He reached a hand up and paused, as though questioning his action, before tucking Keyleth’s hair behind her ear. His hand followed the curve of her ear, then her jaw in the same slow motion, lingering for just a beat before he retracted his hand.

“Now,” he continued, clearing his throat, “I think you should try and get some rest; we have a big day tomorrow after all.”

Keyleth nodded and wiped away the tear tracks on her face. She tried to dab at the tear stains she left on Vax’s clothes but he just shooed her off towards her bedroll. As she crept back between her companions, she was grateful that her mid-night outburst didn’t disturb any of them. She settled in and turned back to Vax, seeing that he had resettled for his watch. 

“Night Vax,” she whispered.

He smiled, his expression soft. “Goodnight Kiki.”


End file.
